Saturday, April 29, 2006

Life in the Airport

Throughout my travels, I have come to understand the art of managing the airport. There are a number of things I have learned concerning living at the airport. Here are ten of them.

1. When you arrive at the airport late, you can get through security in five minutes. If you arrive early, it takes almost an hour.

2. Yes. You ARE a number.

3. On the plane, they feed you salty food so you will be thirsty and buy their overpriced snacks to quench that thrist.

4. By Murphy's Law, when you are exhausted you are bound to sit next to someone chatty who loves to discuss the innermost details of their monotonous personal or professioanl life. When you are wired from lack of sleep and eager to talk, you are bound to sit next to someone who is mute or has fire come out of their eyes when you try to engage in conversation.

5. When traveling against time zone differences, every lay-over is breakfast time.

6. He who has the most toys wins.

7. Something in your luggage WILL break. Why? The baggage claim workers get bored and invent their own games.

8. It's all a battle over the window seat. You may loose individual battles, but you are fine as long as you win the war.

9. The airport can be a social highlight, or a social black hole. Occasionally, you will run into old friends or enemies who you thought you would never see again. Your reaction to their sudden appearance? Well... it depends on the nature of their original disappearance.

10. Though they shrink to about half their size when being transported into the airport, a starbuck's muffin solves all.


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